MOVED!

Goodbye, Blogdrive!

Oh, I am so hoping there's no school tomorrow.

So my weekend hasn't been boring, I can tell you that for sure. On Friday, I met up with Carla in Glorietta and then we went to Starbucks in Greenbelt for the usual caffeine (although I got raspberry-flavoured tazo tea this time) and chikahan. After a few hours, her two friends joined us and they go to my school! Then had dinner with John and RJ in some restaurant in Greenbelt and afterwards bar-hopped. Fun fun. Thanks to John and RJ for paying for my dinner, three cocktails and San Mig Lite. And thanks to RJ for letting me crash at his place because 4am is kind of a stupid time to go home by yourself when you live in an area with pretty dodgy people.

On Saturday, I went to Mandaluyong to get the package that my mum sent me which included the warranty that I need to get my Nokia 6280 fixed. Along with the warranty was a cute little bag and a kick-ass skull shirt. Loooove. I went to Megamall to sort out the chuva with my phone but there was no Nokia centre there, although I did find out there's one in Glorietta, so I have to drop by Glorietta sometime this week.

After Megamall, I went to Alabang and met up with Jeman in Festi, and then Carla picked us up there and we went to Jeman's place for the old school inuman session complete with beer (and a bottle of vodka cruiser for me), lechon manok, chips and cookies. We also tried to watch Lady In The Water but couldn't really concentrate on the movie so we watched The Nun instead and there were certain parts that freaked me out and some were just funny. Either way...we concluded that the lady in the water is the nun. After the movies and finishing off the chicken and booze pretty fast, Carla demanded a videoke session. However, Jeman and I passed out so the twins kept Carla company and sang along with her. Sorry for falling asleep, Carla, don't let me lie down anywhere next time after I've been drinking! Hehehe. And thanks to Jeman for letting me stay for the night! By the way, Jeman's SG collection is friggin' amazing and he let us listen to the new Cueshe album which is so good so I am now even more dead excited for the album launch.

So today, after leaving Jeman's house, I went back home to Laguna. Showered, changed and then made my way to Jen's house (we live in the same neighbourhood) to hang out for her bday. HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY, JEN! I ate a lot, met new people and had an overall nice time hanging out with Miss Jennyfishy. Hahahaha!

I've been dealing with a constant feeling of irritation much too often these days. Especially this weekend. I just hate a lot of things. Like how some people expect me to just drop everything for them, or how some people seem to be under the impression that I'm capable of being in two places at once. Guess what? I'm not. I'm only human. I would very much like to be able to keep everyone happy, to avoid anyone making tampo with me, but I can't. I will try to compromise, I will sacrifice certain things given reason, but there is only so much that I can do.

I also hate it when people take my stuff without permission and even moreso when they don't return what they've borrowed (with or without permission).

When I got home from Jen's, I watched a few episodes from season three of The OC. In one ep, Sadie was talking about a guy she used to see and natamaan ako sa sinabi nya. It was the most perfect description of what's going on in my current pathetic I-want-to-rip-my-hair-out situation with Lover dear. "We couldn't make it work but we couldn't seem to break up, so it just dragged on and on." Or something along those lines. The point is, it's so...us. That is us. Can't make it work but can't end it either. So what would be the right thing to do?

But then sometimes I don't want to know the answer to that question.

I love this baby to bits. How wrong would it be if I didn't love my own kid as much as I love Erikah? Hahaha. She is just the cutest goddaughter ever.

I'm almost embarassed to say that I actually like Paris Hilton's "Stars Are Blind". It's damn catchy.

I've been fighting nausea for the last two days. And getting food cravings, and eating like a pig. Wow. That just made me sound preggers. NOT A CHANCE. Quit hoping, Carla! Hahaha.

I have my last exam for the week in a few hours. God. I just want it to be Saturday already.

The guy that wants to take me out for dinner called me again earlier. You know, the things he does and whatnot...I get the feeling that it's all supposed to woo me. And it might just work, if only there wasn't a certain someone already constantly invading my mind. I'd say that I want out, and I want to let go, and forget him completely...but we all know that I won't really mean what I say, and I won't be able to anyways.

I've decided to do an hour of yoga everyday.

LET IT BE SATURDAY NOWWWW!

Since starting school here in Philippines late last year, I've never really hated school. Compared to the hell of an education that I had to endure back in Hong Kong, school here ROCKS. Although right now I just hate it so much. Aside from the fact that my schedule still pisses me off highly, I'm having the hardest time concentrating. Even for just five minutes. Too many things going on in the sidelines. Too many things cluttering up my mind, I can hardly find room for anything else. Goes to show how vast my mental capacity can be.

So how perfect is it that prelims started today? Fucking perfect. Yeah huh. Checked my exam sched; whoever made it was on drugs as he/she put two of my exams (Filipino & Filipino Literature) in the same timeslot on the same day. So now I've got to skip one and just get a special permit to take it next week. Tangina, addict talaga ang Perps. Addict! Pinahirapan pa ako. Had my Social Science exam earlier. Addict rin ang prof ko, kung ano ano mga questions nilagay sa paper. I kept re-checking the exam title just to make sure I was taking the right one because I kept getting the impression I was taking a History exam. Hopefully, I did alright.

I went to a VTR in Quezon City yesterday. It took me forever to make up my mind on whether or not I should go but sometime in the afternoon I decided I shouldn't miss the opportunity. It was for a music video although they (the people in charge of the VTR chuva) wouldn't say whose video it was. I had to wait about TWO HOURS for my turn..I was the last one, and thankfully, I didn't have to do it in a pair as what the other models had to do. Haha models. Hindi naman ako model. Another semi-amusing thing was I turned up in a pair of jeans, Converse sneakers and a loose black T-shirt while all the other girls were heavily made-up and looked like they were going to a party. Plus I was carrying my school binder (so I was able to study a bit while waiting), my hair was all messy-like (as always) and I couldn't be bothered to wear contacts, so I was sporting my nerd glasses.

I wish I could shake off this feeling that I've been carrying around for days now. I can't exactly describe it. All I know are parts of what's causing it. I want to be numb, even for just a little while. Please.

I've been thinking about leaving since the day that we met; if I don't get closer when it's all over I'll just forget; cos I have seen the end so many times I've played it in my mind; and I am scared to death, I never want to see your dark side.

Whenever I would get thoroughly upset about certain matters before, someone would always say to me something along the lines of, "You shouldn't be upset because there are people that have it a lot worse." I guess, after having been told that over and over again while growing up, it's kinda grown into me and now I tell myself that whenever I find myself getting depressed over something. The result? I always feel like my problems aren't worth anything at all and I'm just being petty. It confuses me to think like that, because I know I have the right to be upset over MY own problems, regardless of whether or not a lot of people all over the world have it so much worse than me, but I hate feeling petty. Petty and weak. If you think about it, we all have our problems and it depends on how we deal with them; some people can take a lot more than others. There are some who break at the slightest hint of trouble in paradise.

To avoid feeling like I'm crying over nothing, I just don't cry at all. Although there are times when I can't help it at all. Yesterday being the perfect example when I was just walking around my room, cleaning up and putting away scattered blah-dee-blahs, and thinking about the things that have been bugging me for quite some time now. Then I just sat on the edge of my bed, buried my face in my hands and sobbed my eyes out for a few minutes. It was a good thing everyone else in the house was either sleeping very soundly, or out, otherwise they would've thought I'd lost it completely. No one ever knows what to do when I start crying, because I hardly ever do. And when I do, I try to make sure no one's ever around to witness it.

I'm the type of person that self-destructs from the inside. Meaning, I won't let anyone else into what's troubling me from the beginning; it'll keep on ripping a bigger hole through me and when it starts to show on the outside, then that's it. There's nothing anyone can do anymore, even if they wanted to, because the damage has been done already. That's why people tend to think that I just become irrationally upset over everything in the blink of an eye but, in all honestly, I've probably been upset over it for a long-ass time, I just never told you.

Earlier, when I was on my way home from a day out with Elle, I felt like I was about to collapse. I don't even know why. If I hadn't sat down on a bench nearby, I probably would've. Then, when I got home, the landline wouldn't stop ringing. I don't know who the morons that keep calling are, but they're fucking aggravating because they either don't say a single word when I answer or try to chat me up. As if I want to talk to you, you loser. So after I hung up on the last idiot who called, I picked up the receiver and put it on a shelf. Keep the line busy. Kaya good luck nalang sayo kung tatawag ka sa landline ngayon.

I'm such a bitch. Especially when I'm in an especially bad mood.

My friend, Cherry, the med-tech student: Miks, gusto mo kuhanan kita ng dugo pag nagkita tayo?
Me: That is the creepiest thing you have ever asked me.

Carla: Ano ba name nya?
Me: Paki ko sa name nya. Baka ipakulam ko pa yon if malaman ko name nya.


It's raining so, so hard right now. When I was little, and it would rain this hard, I used to think that God was trying to re-create the whole "I'm going to flood the Earth and kill you lowly humans for pissing me off too much mwahahahaha!" thing. And then I'd wonder where the fuck Noah was and why he hasn't included me in his Great Wooden Ark Posse. Uy, Noah, mag-text ka naman, close tayo diba?


Jeman sent me pictures from the 6cyclemind/Cueshe gig in Metrobar last Thursday. Whoohoo!

Me & Ney. / Group picture with 6cyclemind! Yay!

And dahil sobrang natutuwa ako sa picture na ito...

Jay and Ney being cute. Haha Jay and Ney. It even rhymes.

And then Lara sent me pictures she took last Friday at the B.U.M. fashion show in SM North.

Ramp. First outfit. I look like such a bitch. / Me & Chuck after the show.

Thanks to Jeman & Lara for the jpegs. :)

I had a 2-hour long PE class yesterday which consisted of a lot of fitness test chuva. And so now I feel like I just got hit by a 16-wheeler truck. I limp when I walk. Kung pwede lang i-drop ang lecheng PE na yan. And then my PE teacher was trying to pimp me to the guys on the varsity basketball team because he knows that I dated one of them last semester for about 2 seconds. Haha.

I think I'm getting hooked onto "Insensitive" by Jann Arden. Mwahahahaha. Ano ba.

Longass blog ahead. You have been warned.

Let's start with...Wednesday.

Carla and I met up in Glorietta after I finished with classes and went to Metrowalk. Had coffee & clubhouse sandwiches first in Starbucks. Then we met up with Joanne & her friend and went to Mugen. Jhunjie & Jay were the first to arrive from the band and the rest followed soon after-ish. Again, tambay tambay outside Mugen with the band. People commented on my ensemble of mini-skirt and (very awesome) boots. Mike teased me by asking if I was doing my OJT in Mugen, as the waitresses were also wearing boots and mini-skirts. Joko was able to make it to the gig! So happy! And she was wearing a cute "my humps, my lump" shirt. Cueshe went on the stage to perform; good good, as usual. Requested "Iris" and my request was granted. Hurrah! Hung out yet again with the band after the show outside the bar. Chit-chat with people. Met Ethan, who is supposedly semi-famous? Someone got jealous and decided to get back at me and did he get back at me GOOD. Saw something I should never have seen and walked out in the middle of a convo with Joko, Carla, Fritz & Mike. Stumbled around Metrowalk, ignored my ringing phone, yosi yosi. Carla and Joko found me eventually but left me alone when it was clear I didn't want to talk to anyone. When I was about to go get into a taxi, I got a call from someone. He told me to go home, I said no & hung up. So he texted me instead to tell me, again, to go home and to not be a "badass". Oh, and that I started the whole thing. Got into a taxi and two minutes later, I started crying and most definitely freaked my taxi driver out. More texting and then he opted to call me again and we had another yelling match. Got home in Mandaluyong, talked to Carla on the phone for awhile and then went to sleep.

 
CLICK HERE for more pictures from Mugen.

And then...Thursday.

Still very, very upset over what happened the previous night, I decided to waste time in Megamall. Had lunch in Starbucks by myself and chain-smoked and then finally decided to ask Joko to meet me. She agreed, which I am so fucking thankful for. We discussed the previous night & other things over drinks in Cafe Ysabel until she had to start her internship. I decided I didn't want to go home at all and made up my mind to go the 6cm/Cueshe gig in Metrobar that night. So another thing to be thankful for is Jeman agreeing to let me tag along with him at the gig. I'm his new PA. Hahahahaha. When we got there, 6cm had already arrived but Cueshe hadn't. Got to talk to Chuck (he knows my stepsister!!) a bit and Jeman and I got our pictures taken with the band. Kakatuwa expression ni Jeman nung na-realize nya na all of 6cm were backstage and therefore equals GROUP PIC! Was dared by Jeman to get a picture with Ney where he was showing his teeth (an almost-impossible task, so I've heard) and I succeeded. Hahaha. 6cm performed and they were great. Cueshe arrived and went with Jeman backstage for awhile. Sat in one corner and watched things happen. Jhunjie was the first to comment on how quiet I was. When Cueshe were about to perform, I got the sudden urge for caffeine as my head felt like it was going to crack open. So I went to Starbucks but came back for the last 4 songs of Cueshe's set. After they performed, went backstage again with Jeman. Again, sat in a corner and watched things happen; the backstage area was TINY and there were so many people, it kinda gave me the whole "sardines in a can" feeling. The fans that wanted to come in and take pictures with the band and chit-chat and blah blah were NEVERENDING, or so it seemed. Jay finally gave Jeman his Human bag. The expression on Jeman's face was priceless. And for that, I now officially love Jeman's expressions. Hahaha. I got more comments on how quiet I was that night. Maingay ba talaga ako usually? Jeman and I hitched a ride with Sir Myke until Kamias EDSA, where I took a bus to go back to Laguna to get stuff that I needed for the fashion show the next day. In the car, Sir Myke was playing some of the new songs off of Cueshe's 2nd album. I heard 3 and I thought they were excellent so I am even more excited for the new album to be released. Whoohoo!

And moving onto...Friday.

I was in SM North by 8am, which was my calltime for the B.U.M Equipment fashion show. Rehearsals and other chuvaness. Was going to wear two outfits, military & cargo. After rehearsals, we had a break that last for a few hours. During that time, I hung out with Leo & TJ (two of the male models). Figaro, lunch, coffee, talking, walking around SM North. I texted Lover to call me and then it was time for fitting, hair & make-up. My first outfit was pretty insane...very short denim shorts, fishnet tights, boots, and a camouflage shirt thing with a little bob tied around my neck made of denim pieces. Weird. The theme was Rock Glam, so my hair was done into a faux-mohawk about 1293123 metres high and my eye make-up was pretty heavy. The first time I saw my reflection, I wanted to start laughing pero pinigil ko yung sarili ko. I checked my phone for messages and there was a missed call from him, so I called him up and we had a quick talk. I told him I didn't want to fight anymore. The actual show started around 6pm. Oh yeah, 6cm were there again as they were the guest performer; they played songs while the models walked down the two ramps. It was kinda exhilarating walking down the ramp, reaching the end and having a frenzy of camera flashes hit you in the face. Plus, one of my favourite bands was playing right next to me on the stage. There was a glitch in the 2nd segment I was in due to wardrobe problems but oh well. I think it was a pretty good experience for my first fashion show ever. The B.U.M endorsers were there as well; Danilo Barrios is, quite frankly, too short and wayyyy too much of a pretty boy for me but wowzers the Rico dude from PBB is so much more good-looking in person. After the show, I got changed, talked to Chuck again for a bit, got rid of my faux-mohawk in the bathroom so I wouldn't look like such a crazy person and then went to 19East in Sucat to meet Carla & Elle and to watch Cueshe, making it my 3rd gig in 3 nights. Addict? Hahahahaha.

It turned out to be the BEST GIG EVER! Not only did they play a lot of songs, but we managed to get every single one of the guys in the band to sing solo. You guys already know what Jay and Ruben usually sing, so I'll just list what the other guys sang: Fritz with "In The End" (Linkin Park), Jhunjie with "No One Else Comes Close" (and I can only wish I knew who sang this song haha), Jovan with "Santeria" (Sublime) and Mike with "I'll Be" (Edwin McCain). Okay, Mike didn't REALLY sing; it was about the 2nd line of the first verse when I realized that he was lip-synching and it was really Ruben who was singing, but we cannot ignore the effort Drummer Boy made to lip-synch. Hahahaha! Before the show, I talked to Lover for a bit. Turned out well. Very well. Afterwards, I joined Mike & Carla in the garden with Elle. Mike asked where I had been for the last half hour with a very knowing grin and I gave some half-assed cover-up story but was eventually exposed to be lying by a pasaway someone. Mwahahahaha. So therefore, walang katapusan ang pagtukso sakin ng mga tao, lalo na si Mike. But hey, I got a free beer from him, so he could've made fun of me all he wanted hahaha. I finally tried Weng-Weng (cocktail with seven spirits mixed together) because it was only 100PHP in the garden. Whoohoo! Loves it. Fritz and Ruben were super kulet as usual. Hahaha. I adore them. So adorable. And I'm so happy that Elle finally got to watch Cueshe live and she thinks they're good. And that someone passed the bestfriend test. Harharhar. Ahhh. Super awesome night all-in-all.

CLICK HERE for more pictures from 19east.

Me: I hate her.
Carla: I hate her too.
Me: We will get our revenge!
Carla: We will!
Me: Got any ideas?
Carla: Hire a killer.
Me: Too expensive. Let's put laxatives in her drink. A whole bottle.
Carla: Sige! Kaibiganin ang bartender.

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.